27 Things

Number of things on tomorrow's to do list: 27.

Number of things that will be completed: 3.

OMG, it's 4 FREAKING 21 am Monday morning and I am STILL awake! Curse you, you evil bastard who made me take a night shift...curse curse curse you!!! At least I've had ample time to lay here and stare at the ceiling and fantasize about each and every one of the 27 things on my list that I will dutifully complete tomorrow. Tomorrow shall be a flurry, an ABSOLUTE FLURRY of activity, I tell you!

Mount washmore is calling my name...I think I'll re-wash that load a third time...transferring those heavy ass wet clothes to the dryer was just too much for me the first two times, so I just hit the wash button and washed 'em again. L-A-Z-Y, that's what my mama would say. Mhm. Also, I cannot get this song lyric outta my head..."can I get yo name, can I get yo numbah?" I can assure you that I am in no mood for getting anyone's name, much less their "numbah" so maybe I could stop singing it over and over and over? And...I shouldn't have eaten that pizza in bed. Crumbs hurt! They FU*&ING hurt! Why? They are so tiny...but they are stabbing me and it's making me want to straight up kill a mo fo!

Is my insomnia obvious? Am I doing crazy talk? Wait. WAIT! This post was about my to do list g*d damn it! FOCUS! Ok, I got it...I am for SURE going to roll the trash cart back into the garage tomorrow. Really, I'm starting to think that leaving it on the street is just fine...I mean, I put it out on Wednesday morning for trash day, sleep all day, go to work Wednesday night, come home Thursday morning...too tired to walk to the curb to bring it in. Next day, pull in garage after work, eh, neighbors don't seem too annoyed by the can...it can stay another day. Third day, Trash can? We don't need no stinking trash cans! Day 4, home from work. See trash can...fuck it, don't even care. If the GD neighbors don't like it, they can roll the MF up to the house themselves. Sunday-oldest daughter admonishes me for leaving trash can out. I tell her...what's the big deal, trash day is just 3 days away, let's be SUPER crazy and leave it out all week! Cue eye roll. Mom = FAIL!

I forgot what I was saying...something about doing stuff...and things...yeah, we'll see how that goes.

This Made Me Laugh

Reading stories online...found this one that made me LOL. I hope it's not just night shift making me think everything is extra funny...enjoy!

After I had knee surgery (ACL reconstruction, as well as fixing my meniscus), I was totally loopy on the way home. My parents asked me what I wanted to eat (having not eaten in nearly 24 hours) & we went to a local fast food joint. They got me a burger. We stopped in the parking lot so my mom could open it for me, spread the wrapper out on my lap, and tuck napkins into my shirt. She hands me the burger, and we drive off.

I take a bite, and that first bite was *heaven*. Just an explosion of deliciousness. So good that just the taste fulfilled my needs for the moment & I fell back asleep. And woke up again when we hit a bump & the bite of burger fell out of my mouth.

Looked up, the parents were up front talking & driving. Put the bite back into my mouth. Fell asleep again. Woke up again when the bite fell out.

I did that little routine the whole hour-drive home. And I didn't realize until my mom told me, years later, that they noticed about 10 mins into the drive and giggled the whole way home, watching me.

Who Am I?

A few weeks ago I went out to the mailbox for my daily dose of "crap I'm just gonna throw away" when I noticed something inside that had not been there before. The mailman had cut out a nice rectangle of paper and taped it on the inside of the mailbox. A reminder of sorts, I'm guessing, of all Ginger's previous lives.

I stopped and stared for a second and thought to myself...how the heck does the mailman know all of my names? I hadn't filled out a change of address card, I didn't tell the mailman I'm a two time divorcée. How does he KNOW? That's what I wanna know. At this point, I'm getting a little pissed. Ok, a LOT pissed. I can't even be ME anymore. I have to be the girl with three last names. I have to explaiiiiinnnnn to all the curious people, "oh yeah, I was married before, and once before that...oh and this is what happened and isn't it just soooo freaking interesting?"

Oh...I said freaking, whoops, sorry about that. Lately the topic just gets me lit up. I can't even pinpoint why, but I think the biggest thing for me is that I am ME, GINGER...that's it, love me or hate me, that's who I am. Some days I feel defined by my last name and it really ANNOYS me. What's the best choice when your ass gets straight up dumped, yo? Yeah, I'm gangsta now, y'all best step off! But for reallls, y'all, for reals...what was I supposed to do, go back to my maiden name? I love that name, but really...it makes me feel like I'm 10 years old and just learning cursive for the first time. And obviously I can't be Ginger husband#1'slastname. (Sorry, Matt) The obvious choice is to keep the same last name my kids have. An Irish girl with a German last name. Perfect.

Maybe I should just change my name to a symbol that nobody can pronounce, just like Prince did. How about this?



How ya like that? Does that work?

Look, folks, I don't regret anything in my life. Everything for a reason, I'm me because of all my experiences, no matter if they are good or bad. But I really resent people whispering behind my back...oh my goshhhh! Did you know she used to be married to so-and-so, and did you KNOW what happened??? Oh isn't that just awful?? Shut UP! Seriously...shut it, it's so annoying, and unnecessary, there are so many other interesting things to know about a person other than who they were married to, who they dated, who they went to prom with. Whatever! I'm tired. Night shift is kicking my ass big time and I blame this rant solely on my craptastic shift which deprives me of sleep all of my days!

Love!

Imposter!

The other day I was running around the house frantically searching for my shoes so I could go to work when Rocky looked over at me and said, "hmmm...at least I know you're not an imposter."

I think my 13 year old just called me out! Not only that, I think this means I have a reputation for...what...losing my shoes? Being disorganized? Waiting til the last minute? Sigh...all of the above. It makes me wonder what other things the kids know about me and just say..."well that's just how mom is!"

Valentine's Day & Pizza

It's Valentine's Day...I'm not big on holidays but I wanted to get the kids a little treat for today. So off we went to Papa Murphy's for one of those fancy heart shaped pizzas. Apparently everyone else had the same idea...valentine's day = heart shaped pizza. Yum!

Anyway, as I was trying to pay the cashier, Nico looked up at me and said, "Oh no! Mommy, are you crying?" (I wasn't, FYI) I told him I wasn't and he blurts out REALLY LOUDLY, I might add, "IS IT BECAUSE YOU WANT DADDY BACK???" OMFG OMFG OMFG, really Nico, REALLY??? Did you really just say that ON Valentine's day while I'm buying a stupid ass heart shaped pizza in a crowded restaurant full of people INCLUDING two of his dad's co-workers??? Ugh. Soooo embarrassing. And the sucky part is that I can't tell Nico all the reasons I don't "want daddy back" I just have to smile and pat him on the head and move on with my day...

By the way, I burnt the pizza. On accident.

Happy Valentine's Day y'all.

Valentine's Dance

Danika and Nico went to their school's Valentine's Dance and Nico spent the night running around chasing people and avoiding my camera while Danika danced it up with a kindergartener.

Rocky...You Are Quite Amazing!

Last night Rocky sang two songs at her school's performance. There is nothing better than sitting in the audience watching your kid on stage being simply amazing. I'm not too proud to admit that I cried a little. I'm just so proud of her...her talent, her bravery, her enthusiasm. I couldn't be any happier and impressed.

Here's a couple of videos...





Ya know...I lied. I watched these videos again...and I cried a lot. That kid is just awesome. AWESOME!

Tuesday? Where did you gooooo????

It's 2 am. Wednesday morning. I'm wide awake. I'm just wondering...Tuesday? Where did you go? You came and went so quickly and now it's Wednesday and I have to work again and I just don't wanna!

Every other Tuesday is "empty nest Tuesday" at my house. I wake up, send kids off to school and am alone until I go back to work on Wednesday. I usually don't mind being alone, it's never been a big deal to me. I'm ok with going out alone, eating alone, going to a movie alone...I'm totally ok with it. But to be honest, I'm kind of sick of it too. I am boring the CRAP out of myself! Usually by Tuesday night I'm pretty annoyed that I haven't had to cook for anyone or clean up a mess or tell someone to beeee quiiiiiet!!! It's too quiet here!

So...here's the rundown of what my poor lonely self did today. 1. Spent 5 hours on the internet (oh my!) 2. Took a nap (yay!) 3. Dropped clothes and stuff off at Ben's house (silly story about that to follow) 4. Went out to dinner and took Kelley with me via iPhone (I heart u iPhone!) 5. Came home and fell asleep again...and look! Now I'm awake with nothing better to do than tell you about my day.

#3 Dropped clothes and stuff off at Ben's house...
So...Rocky called me to ask that I drop off her laptop and clothes to her Dad's house last night. Of course I said I would, and I asked what time...she said they were going out but Daddy says to just use the key and put the stuff inside the house. Huh? Go inside my old house??? Uhhh...this sounds like a TERRIBLE idea! I asked Rocky again...is your dad ok with that? I wanna make sure before I just go in. He's standing right next to her and says yes that's what he wants. Oy vey. Ay yi yi!

So I drive over to Ben's house, pull into my old driveway...nobody's home. Great, I really have to do this. FML. I walk up to the front door, arms full of kid stuff, pull out my key and enter the house. Wait. I forgot to tell you... My no soliciting sign is no longer on the front door. It's been replaced...by a fancy cursive-y welcome sign stenciled on. Nice. No...really, it's pretty. The funny thing is...I bought that stupid ass sign for Ben because HE hated solicitors. And now it's gone...replaced by welcome, hahaha. I wonder where the solicitors are now?

I walked inside and immediately I notice EVERYTHING that is different. First...a dog. Hi dog. How are you. I know Ben is allergic to you yet you still live here. I am chuckling on the inside. Sorry, can't help it. Achooooooo! Bless you Ben. Next I notice pictures on the walls. My kids, her kids, them. Cute pictures. Silently wondering if I can get copies. Hmmm...it smells good in here...like fresh baked cookies. Must be a candle. Oh and look, as I am setting the things down on the dining table I notice my red test spot on the wall is still there. The new lady of the house must like it. I can't blame her, it is a classy looking red spot indeed. As I'm walking out I catch a glimpse of the kitchen. God I hated that kitchen so much. So tiny, no counter space...but wow, it's got all these things in it now. Not my things. New things. I kind of want them, maybe I can get some help decorating my own kitchen. Cute little cannisters and signs in swishy writing that say things like love and crap. You know what I'm talking about. Sigh. Little voice inside me starts wondering was it the kitchen that sucked or MEEEEE???

The last thing I noticed was a small sign...sort of a plaque...that said BML. Just those initials. Acronym. Whatever. As I'm leaving, I'm muttering to myself...BML? What the hell does that mean? Bite my lip? Button my luggage? Be my lalentine? I decide the only thing it can mean is Ben Meghan Love. And I also decide that this is THE most retarded sign I've ever seen. Coupla dorks. Seriously. I liked everything else up until that dumb sign. Apparently, though, that's not what it means. I asked my friend...what in the heck does BML mean???? She checked it out for me. It's "Bless My Life" Yeah ok, less dorky. But STILL a little dorky, ok? Can ya give me that at least!

That's it. That's all I got...a sistah needs her sleep! Let's go! :)

Except this. I have this. And it's funny.



Oh and also...I just made kool aid. A gallon of it. And it's pink. And I forgot to drink anything all day so I am thirsty. So I drank a lot of kool aid. About half the pitcher...and according to my calculations, if the sugar was distributed equally, I just drank an effing cup of sugar. Oh God, what have I done. Also, there's the issue of the kool aid mustache. That's gonna take at least two days to wear fade. Maybe I'll call in sick tomorrow.

I Can Fix Stuff

You know...it's really annoying when stuff breaks and you have to figure out how to fix it all by yourself! Luckily there's google. Oh...and my Daddy! :) Sometimes I like to call him up and say..."hey Pop, ya know that thingy that goes on that other thingy and it looks kinda like a UFO and sometimes it smells like rotten eggs?" And I can just hear the big sigh in his voice and I know he's thinking..."girl...WHY do you not know this, ya moron!!!" Well, I don't KNOW WHY I don't know much of anything but I been figurin' it out lately!

I'll be honest though...I could do without learning all this stuff. Sometimes I'd just like to get through a whole week without breaking something or going to the doctor or running out of gas (that only happened ONCE, ok?) or just all around having to deal with one more thing that was not on my to do list. I own my own hammer now and a mini screwdriver set. Broke shit...bring yourself to me, I shall fix you alllll!!!

PS This week, I "fixed" the washer with the help of google, my dad, a safety pin, a wrench, a tiny mirror, a towel and a spray bottle. I got yer back if you need to know how to "fix" a washer.

Spoon Update

I bet you were wondering what those frozen spoons were for, weren't you? Rocky fessed up...they were to put on your eyes in the morning to make the bags go away. She reported back that frozen spoons do not, in fact, take said bags away. Apparently the only cure for that is enough sleep. Weird!

(Now I have to apologize to Danika for thinking she was the weird kid freezing all my dang spoons!)