Silly Danika

I love when Danika is silly.

And This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!

So I opened up the freezer this morning and this is what I found...



Yeah...2 frozen spoons. What in the heck is that all about. I can't even come up with a good reason for this one. And if you think I staged this for a funny picture and a good blog post, well bite me, cause, honey, this sh#t is real. Raughing Out Roud. This is my life. Freaking frozen spoons. Mmmmmhhhmmmm, yes it is.

Naturally I had to ask the two smallest children over breakfast if they knew anything about the Frozen Spoon Expedition of 2011. Here's what I got from Danika...(Nico was too busy drawing) Danika: "Maybe the person thought it'd be good to have frozen spoons for ice cream." Oh really, my darling 6 year old child? The "person" thought this? Hmmm???? Yeah, that sounds like some bonehead crap a 6 year old would say, doesn't it?

Kids...what would I do without them and their dang shenanigans!

Before and...Somewhere in the Middle

I'm wondering...does anyone ever feel like they've made it? Like...do you look at yourself and your life and ever say, yup, this is as good as I can be. I'll stop right here, there's nothing more to be done. I'm perfect just like this... Anyone?

I don't think I realized this about myself until the last year or so, but I think that it doesn't matter what I've done in the past, there's always room for improvement. I feel like I can always do it better the next time. I can always be nicer, run faster, cook better, work harder, set bigger goals. I can't decide if that means I'm not ever happy with what I have or if trying for more is a good thing. Either way, I'm sure it's not going to change anytime soon. I am who I am.

Some days I hate the feeling that I'm not happy with now. Dang, I'm usually at least a little funny but today sucks a little. I found an old picture. You know, a really FAT one...so depressing. I should be proud of the progress I made. Losing 50 pounds was a big deal and I'm proud of that. I worked hard for it. I deserved it. But I'm stuck in the middle. I'm still not happy with how I look. Still so much work to be done, but I'm supposed to be living NOW, not waiting for when I feel like I look ok. That part PISSES ME OFF!!! Insecurity is a bitch. That's really all I have to say about that.

Here's what before looks like...I know this is a crazy thing to say but I'm glad I'm alone now so I could find myself again. Cuz the girl in this pic? Yeah, I don't know her.


And the somewhere in the middle picture, which is actually over a year old because I don't let people take full length pictures of me. :P



Just so's ya know, I'm generally pretty happy. Today was just a weird one!

What's a Pinhead?

What the...? Where did all the crunch berries go???? I demand an answer!!! See! This is why I can't eat foods that aren't equally distributed. Lucky charms? No way! Who wants to eat the little cereal pieces when there are so many delicious tiny freeze dried marshmallows pieces to be had? Not me!

Yesterday Danika asked me what a pinhead was. Anyone wanna take a crack at that one?

My friend at work is pregnant...the other day, after sitting in silence for an hour, she yelled out..."I still wants some f@#$ing jelly beans!"

Sometimes I write things down so I'll remember them later. I wrote this on Monday..."oh no, a butthole." Yeah, I have to tell you, I have no idea what it means. I'm kind of scared.

I finally have a dining room table and four chairs for me and my little family. Where did it come from, you ask? The ex-husband's girlfriend's house. I traded her. One husband for a big, heavy ass table and chairs. Sucker! Hahahaha!

We Lost

Sometimes I really hate rules and regulations and mandates and whatever big word you want to use that basically means restrictions.

Today Nico had his special education services taken away from him because he doesn't have a diagnosed disability. He had 14 disabilities to choose from and didn't fit any of them. Nice. Interesting that my boy struggles everyday to keep up with the rest of the kids but there's nothing "wrong" with him.

I'm going to try to figure out a way to keep a positive attitude even though I really feel sad for Nico. I can't imagine what it's like inside his head. He has a very kind heart, is very loving and giving and his artistic ability is through the roof. His drawings are amazing and the stories he writes are so creative. He is just a precious little boy and I want everyone to see that.

Tomorrow is a new day, everyday we wake up and have a new chance for a good day...so let's not go and eff it up, k people? K!

Snow Day

Yeah, we ain't doing nothin today. Snowing...all day long. Brrrr...and of COURSE I need to go grocery shopping. Do you think it will happen? Yeah, me neither.

Flavor Of The Week

Butter Pecan, y'all. Gosh, what were YOU thinking? No...for real though. FOR REAL...listen...I realized the other day at King Soopers that I might have commitment issues! See, there I was sitting at home, minding my own business when I realized I needed some ice cream. Yeah, NEEDED. Anyway, never mind that.

I went up to the store and what I really wanted to do was buy a pint of Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake. But...I was really bothered by the fact that a pint of ice cream costs the same as a gallon. I moved down to the gallons and then it struck me. If I buy a whole gallon of ice cream, I'm stuck with the dang thing for at least a week. What if I'm not in the mood for the same flavor every day. With Ben and Jerry's, you sit your fat ass in front of the tv and polish that baby off in one sitting. There's no commitment there, just eat and go. But a gallon, a WHOLE GALLON? Crap, I feel really tied down. A freaking ball and chain of ice cream. And there were so many choices...french vanilla, chocolate chip, fudge ripple, cookies and cream, OMG...I nearly had a panic attack picking out the flippin' ice cream.

In the end it was just too much and I walked over to the cheapest brand, closed my eyes and reached in and got...Butter Pecan. F you, Butter Pecan, you're stuck with me for the week...and you know what it said to me? F you too, Ginger, your dumb ass is stuck with me too. Yeah, bite me...next time I'm just getting the freaking pint and going home to my non-cable tv to watch a redbox movie that I'll never return. Flavor of the week, my ass...flavor of the DAY!

Mommy...that girl is wearing pajamas!

You might be wondering...why is Danika at Chic-fil-A wearing her sponge bob pajamas??? Why?? Well...it all starts with this...



See...earlier in the morning Danika whiiines to me that her bedroom door was locked. WHAT??? Not AGAIN!!! A couple weeks ago Nico's bedroom door "mysteriously" got locked and I had to take the cotton pickin' door knob apart to get him into his room. Yeah, I shoulda called my DAD that time so he could have told me about the HOLE in the doorknob that was the "key" to unlocking the dadgum thang! I was smart and called him this time...I bet he suuuure is tired of explaining the most simple things to me!!! Right Pop? Right??? Right!

So here's the dealio...we went to Home Depot and got a nice little set of screwdrivers justttt for mommy's house. And guess what...the tiny screwdriver opened the #%&@!& door just like everyone said it would. And guess what else? Each child got an intense lesson on exactly HOW to unlock said locked door, should it ever happen again. Score!

...in case you needed a demonstration. Hey, I'm just trying to save the rest of y'all some trouble.


Oh and one last thing that made me smile a little....



Yeah...I'd say his handicap is...he don't know how to park! (Insensitive, I know... Sorry! Laugh at life...ya gotta do it!)

Oh! And the reason Danika wore her pajamas to Chic-Fil-A? Well...that's what she was wearing when she got locked out of her room...oddly enough, ALL of her clothes were put away in her room...drawback to being more organized? I think so! We had to drop Rocky off at a friend's, I took Nico and Danika to Chic-Fil-A for lunch and fun and THEN we went to Home Depot for the screwdrivers. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I didn't feel like her wearing pj's was a big deal. Sue me. :P

Disaster waiting to happen..

Look...all I'm saying is no, I did not stage this. And yes, it's a baddd idea and I need to find a new home for the desitin right quick! Blech!

And speaking of gross things...we were watching a movie the other day with the subtitles on...it was a bathroom scene, nobody was talking, just some guy going number two, hahahaha, the subtitles said, "farting, splashing, plopping." OMG, soooo funny! Ha ha ha ha!!!

You've got mail.

The mailbox...I don't like it. At our new house, the mailbox is at the curb instead of attached to the house. This annoys me. A lot. Point made...Anyway, I went to the row of six mailboxes the other day to finally bring the mail in. I was tired, still in my jammies and slippers when I opened the box. I pulled out the stack of mail and started thumbing through it...bill, bill, bill, ads, card...I pulled out a few things to toss in the recycle bin and I thought, man, the mailman really screwed up this time!!! All the mail had the wrong address!!! What a dork!!! Ugh, now I have to write "not at this address" on all this crap!!

Then...I looked closer...it was...my neighbors mail. I went to the wrong mailbox!!! Dammit dammit dammit! I'M the dork, AGAIN! So I did what any good neighbor would do...I threw all those bills in the trash! Kidding! Kidding! Gosh! Of course I put it back and checked my own mailbox...which was empty! Yay! Meanwhile Danika had been watching me the whole time and she yells out..."MOOOOMMMM! It's the SECOND box!" Oh, thanks honey, yell it out to the whole neighborhood! Where were you five minutes ago?